Thursday, June 5, 2008

Are Southerners Too Nice For the Internet?

Hmmm, I beginning to think we are, so the internet is just going to have to change, because I didn't get courtesy and manners beaten into me by my Momma all those years for nothing, and I ain't changing now!

My Momma's favorite saying is that "manners don't cost a thing". I say please and thank you and address everyone with a "ma'am" and "sir". I realize y'all people in the rest of the world don't understand why we Southerners actually look you in the eye when we're talking to you; or why we pull over to the side of the road when a funeral procession passes by out of respect for the dearly departed and the family, even if we don't know them; and you don't "get it" that we don't wear white before Easter or after Labor Day (I don't care what some model in NY says, we still DO NOT do it, it's too tacky for words!)

If you ever came down here and had the sinful pleasure of tasting a pulled pork BBQ sandwich (yes, BBQ is an adjective, not a verb), you would never want to leave. If you tasted Dukes mayonnaise on a tomato sandwich, you'd know why it reigns supreme: It's brain food, and Miracle Whip is a dirty word. A meal isn't a meal unless rice and butterbeans are on the table, and a real peanut butter sandwich has bananas in it and is fried in butter, baby!

So, y'all keep on being your cranky selves, and we'll keep on being nice to you anyway because, while we really don't give a rat's a** how you do things up North, bless your little hearts, my Momma would take a hickory switch to my 49 year old butt if I told you so.

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