I wanted to give an update on the new tutorial for all you wonderful, patient people who have been waiting for it and checking in every week for a status report.
Without any hemming and hawing around, as my Papa Moseley used to say, the plain truth is that it is just not coming together as I want it to, and I have decided to set it aside for awhile.
I am sorry to disappoint everyone, but I am finally caving in to the stress. I have decided to take a break, and do not plan to publish it before the end of the year. Instead, I am going on a walkabout or sorts, to try and get my mind on track again to finish it.
This faux tutorial is the hardest tutorial I have ever written, and I am not sure why. It is a simple enough process. It shouldn't be this complicated or take 8 months to write, but it has.
If anything, I think the stress of not having the comfort of a consistent paycheck is behind it. I am experiencing an insecurity and uncertainty that I have never before in my life had to face. The result is that I may be headed back to the outside work force, if I can find a part-time job, that is. As long as I had that cushion of employment comfort, my creativity was a free-flowing thing that never let me down. That may be a poor excuse, but it's the only one I have.
I am a perfectionist, have a Type A (to the max) personality; and on top of that, am OCD. I also have some other physical health issues that have been exacerbated by the mental stress. Since I have other people to think about besides myself, I am going to give the tutorial a rest, after nine re-writes, until the first of the year.
The holidays are not a time anyone wants to pile on more stress, right? I planned for this tutorial to be published back in April, no later than June. I had planned to start some new, non-polymer projects for my second Etsy shop my Mother and I started two years ago, which has been sitting sadly neglected all year, so I am going to devote the time until the end of the year helping her develop some items for it, and I am going to sit back and enjoy a no-stress holiday with my family.
Thank you all for your patience, and your support and encouragement, my friends.